It’s amazing how words frequently used in conversation come and go. During the Valley Girl craze of the 1980’s, phrases like, “Gag me with a spoon” and “That’s totally bogus!” were heard often. These days, we have new words and phrases to convey similar sentiments.
Today, I’d like to discuss a four word phrase that has fallen into disfavor. You just don’t hear it that much anymore.
It was my fault.
Personal accountability makes people feel vulnerable. And according to sociologist Brene’ Brown, vulnerability can be excruciating; people almost universally avoid it. In her popular TED talk, The Power of Vulnerability, she explains why: Vulnerability opens the door to shame— another unwanted emotion—so we look for a way to ease the discomfort. The shortest path is to blame others. Which, again, according to Brown, is a wrong way to deal with vulnerability.
Of course, the Bible is filled with stories of people who grappled with personal culpability. Some handled it well and some did not. I won’t repeat these at length, but here are two of my favorites.
Adam blamed Eve for giving him the forbidden fruit, and she blamed the serpent. But God held everyone accountable.—(Genesis 3) #wrongway
When King David was confronted, after he committed adultery and murder, he blamed only himself saying, “I have sinned.” –(2 Samuel 12:13) He admitted his accountability. #rightway
Back when I served as a worship pastor, I once convinced our church to sponsor a popular Christian recording artist in concert. I assured our parish council that ticket sales would cover the cost of bringing this person in. I was wrong. The concert lost $3000!
The first thing I did was start thinking of excuses. But as my wheels turned, the Holy Spirit burned something into my heart: “Say it was your fault.”
So I did. I stood before the church’s leaders and admitted that I blew it. However, to my surprise, they disagreed! “We voted to do this,” said an older deacon, “It’s on ALL of us.” And everyone agreed!?
I experienced God’s grace with skin on that night. All because, with His help I was able to say, “It was my fault.”
This is the one I esteem: he who is humble and contrite in spirit, and trembles at my word.
Isaiah 66:2
For a great story about a person who faced a vulnerable situation through God’s provision, please read this post by Musings and Roses.
Davids Daily Dose 
Comments
21 responses to “Lost Four Words”
Mine too, Crystal. I love Brene’ because she keeps it totally real. There’s no BS with Brown!
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The Brené Brown TED talk is one of my favorites.
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Hmm, “God’s Grace with skin on it” 🙌🏽
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Thank you for your kind feedback. It means a lot. It was hard to admit my mistake, but I knew it was what God wanted me to do. It turned out to be the best course of action—as telling the truth always does. Thank you for reading and commenting. God Bless
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Humility and accountability are Christian values that are difficult to cultivate. I’m blown away that you stood up and acknowledged your mistake and accepted accountability. That is courage under fire. Well done, David.
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You’re welcome!
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Thank you, Deborah! I appreciate your kind words. God Bless you, too!
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I appreciate your blog. It’s always best to take the high road and admit when it’s your fault. Your church was gracious to come along side of you when you blamed yourself. God bless you, David, and keep sharing what God puts on your heart.
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You are most welcome, Manette. Have a blessed day.
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Thank you for this post. I like your two contrasting biblical accounts of personal culpability. And thank you for introducing us to Musings and Roses. That was a very encouraging testimony.
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Well the Lord’s Word does state that we need to be honest and answer whatever is asked of us……and because you do not wish “attempt to answer my objections, point by point” then you are being dishonest, and not to be trusted, because you can not answer according to the Lord’s word because you desire to keep your unscriptural ways and no surprise since you utilize corrupted versions of the Lord Word to suit your belief system…..
Very sad, and no I can not agree to disagree, that would be enabling you to teach a false belief system to the unlearned…..which I can never do.
I stay true to the Word of the Lord, and not any man……..
Good day…..
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I’m sorry you feel this way. To answer your question, I believe I am following the true Christ. I will not attempt to answer your objections point by point. Perhaps we can agree to disagree?
God Bless you.
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The Lord does not favour “Christian recording artists” so I question what spirit made you think you were guilty……If you just follow the pattern the Lord has founded for His Bride, the Body of Christ, there would have NOT been a “concert”. You would also have left the institutionalized church long ago, plus you would not be pushing and using the “The Message Bible”, which is totally apostate in it’s very existence!
So I have every Biblical stand to call you out on it…….because there are babes in Christ and those who are not mature in the ways of the Lord who would consider you know what you are talking about…….
The Lord’s word is very clear:
Eph 5:6 Let no man deceive you with vain words: for because of these things cometh the wrath of God upon the children of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Be not ye therefore partakers with them.
Eph 5:8 For ye were sometimes darkness, but now are ye light in the Lord: walk as children of light:
Eph 5:9 (For the fruit of the Spirit is in all goodness and righteousness and truth;)
Eph 5:10 Proving what is acceptable unto the Lord.
Eph 5:11 And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather reprove them.
Eph 5:12 For it is a shame even to speak of those things which are done of them in secret.
This is what you are truly guilty of…….not walking in the ways of the Lord as set out by the Lord and His Apostles……do you serve another Gospel, a different Christ?
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You’re welcome, Betty. I hope you and Dan have a good day too. Blessings.
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You’re welcome, Doris. Thank you for reading and commenting. Blessings.
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You’re welcome, brother. What does the verse say? “Humble yourself in the sight of the Lord and He will lift you up.” God Bless
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I appreciate your reading and commenting. I always try to share a personal story, because we all carry God’s treasure in jars of clay (2 Cor. 4). Blessings.
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If I ever heard a politician say this, that person would likely get my vote! These are good words to say when necessary – good for your conscience and good for healthy relationships, too. Thanks for your post, and enjoy your day!
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Good word David. Thank you!
Doris Lambert Sent from my iPhone
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Sometimes we just need to step up and take our medicine – this post is a reminder of the value of humility, a very powerful medicine to any child of God! Truly an excellent post and a reminder we can never hear enough. God bless you brother.
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A good reminder to accept when we make a mistake. I like both the examples you gave.
It is not easy to accept but it is the right thing to do.
Thanks for sharing David.
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