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# Be Kind

“The wise in heart are called discerning, and pleasant words promote instruction.” Proverbs 16:21 (NIV)

Think back for a moment to your formative years. Was there a favorite teacher or mentor?

Chances are this person was more kind and caring than harsh and demanding.

“The only good teachers for you are the friends who love you, who think you are interesting, or very important, or wonderfully funny.”

Brenda Ueland

The old adage, “A child may forget what you say or do, but they will never forget how you made them feel,” is most certainly true. I’ve seen this first hand as a teacher of young children.

It should follow, then, that coming off as kind is the best social strategy for the rest of the world too.

So why does there always seem to be more 😡 than 😇?

I found at least one answer in my favorite read of 2020: The Power of Bad, by social psychologist Roy Baumeister. The author presses a point that is recognizable by anyone who has been “flipped the bird” in traffic:

Bad behavior often gets more attention than good.

People say and do negative things because it works. The power of this “negativity bias” (bad is stronger than good) is well known.

However, for long term positive relationships, according to Baumeister, a healthy balance—between good and bad—is needed.

Here are a few of my favorite fresh angles from the book:

  • Maximizing the good is important, but we must also minimize the bad. Aim for a 4 to 1 ratio: four times as many good interactions as bad.
  • Don’t focus on being perfect in your dealings with others; just be good enough. Consistently plodding along (being good enough) and keeping your promises does more for you than going the extra mile.
  • The Negative Golden Rule: It’s what you DON’T do unto others that matters most.

Maybe the title of this post should have been, “# Be (relatively) Kind.” 😀

Seriously, being gracious to others may not always be easy, but it’s God’s way of doing things.

“He does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities.” Ps. 103:10 (NIV)

Perhaps the challenge for today (and every day) is to extend God’s grace to others–whether they deserve it or not.

After all, He has been gracious to us.

“But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared, He saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of His mercy.” Titus 3:4-5a (NIV)

Photo by Lisa Fotios on Pexels.com

By davidsdailydose

I'm just a regular guy who was
tempted to lose all hope but did not. It was God who made the difference.

27 replies on “# Be Kind”

“Sometimes grace hurts!” How true, brother. You’ve brought a deeper perspective to this post—one that I didn’t fully explore. When Jesus said, “Love your enemies,” He allowed zero excuses not to. Thank you for your contribution! Blessings to you, always.

Liked by 1 person

I like the realism in this post, gushing with kindness doesn’t happen 24/7. There are times when we really can’t be bothered with folk, these are when we must still do the right things with others…whether we want to or not. Sometimes grace hurts!

Liked by 1 person

Thank you, Manette. As always, you’ve added to the depth of conversation!
I like your, “ignore the bad” idea. This would especially work in situations, like a toddler tantrum, when no real harm is being done.
Blessings.

Liked by 1 person

Your subheading, “Bad behavior often gets more attention than good” instantly brought to mind a toddler throwing a temper tantrum. Why do they do it–to garner attention. Most sound parenting tips recommend ignoring the tantrum and it often fizzles out. What if we applied the same to the “bad” in our adult lives–practice ignoring it, when possible. I.e. negative news stories, biting comments on social media, etc. If we don’t get drawn into it, is it possible the negative would diminish or fizzle out?
I love WordPress because I do find more kindness here. Blessings David!

Liked by 1 person

Amen.
So true. Ironically, it seems the negative stuff gets more attention than the good stuff. The good should get far more attention.
I believe it would have a profoundly positive effect if people would starve the bad of all unnecessary attention and highlight the good.

Kindness is key. I want to shine godly light in this dark world. I aim to be kind in various circumstances, and God is working on me. 🙏🏾

Liked by 3 people

Good is generally “quieter” than bad. For instance, the number of airliners taking off and landing safely doesn’t make the news; if a plane crashes and all onboard are killed, it’s on the news instantly. The only time I’ve heard of the reverse is the “Miracle on the Hudson”, when the pilot guided the plane to a safe landing on the Hudson River.

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Thank you for reading and commenting. Kindness also tends to go with positive thoughts, while unkindness is more closely associated with negativity. It’s sad how negative the news media is, but this is what sells—or they wouldn’t do it. I appreciate your thoughts! God Bless.

Liked by 1 person

Can’t help thinking about being kind is one of the Fruit Of The Spirit. So, I’m having to admit to its importance in my life and all Christians’ lives. (Well – every person should be kind, not just Christians.) I’m praying for us all to be more kind everyday.

Liked by 1 person

I think the quote about a child forgetting what you say or do but remembering how you made them feel applies to adults as well. I do try to always be kind; it’s easy when everything is going well. But sometimes other factors – rude people, stress, pressure, not feeling well, being angry – can make it harder to be kind. Sometimes the best I can do in certain situations is to be quiet. However, it is my goal to always be kind. Good reminders, David!

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Your post here rings true exactly the good feelings that stay on one’s ❤ The lasting effects of kindness spread love effortlessly which is why just a smile can change someone’s whole day. We never know what others are going through, kindness levels us to see the similarities within us all. I smile with my eyes naturally and I make a point of exaggerating them now since we can’t see each other’s mouths while wearing a mask. Great post to start the week, thanks David😁

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