Illusions of Fairness

People who teach young children often hear them say the same things over and over. “It’s MY TURN!” “I’m telling on you…” And my favorite, “That’s not fair!”

Big people are, well, bigger than this of course. We’re too sophisticated to stoop to the “tit for tat” spats of childhood. Or are we?

Just four chapters into the Bible, we find someone who thought he was treated unfairly. And this “little boy” retaliated in the worst way imaginable. Cain killed his brother Abel because God favored Abel’s offering over his own. The Lord tried to intervene, but Cain wouldn’t listen.

Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at the door; it desires to have you, but you must master it.

Genesis 4:6-7

You mean I should take responsibility for my own thoughts and actions, Lord? I can CHOOSE how I respond to my feelings?

It’s time to put on my big boy pants.

“Fairness isn’t the key to happiness,” says Mitch Teemley in his recent post, Fairness is Overated. Why? “Because we never stop wanting things.” His accurate conclusion was this: while fairness in itself isn’t a bad thing, linking your personal happiness to it CAN be.

Mitch’s wise words came at just the right time. I was about to throw myself a Cain-sized pity party (minus the homicidal intentions) because something hadn’t gone my way.

Can you relate, kind reader? Maybe you have a “That’s not fair!” button too.

Don’t hit back; discover the beauty in everyone. If you’ve got it in you, get along with everybody. Don’t insist on getting even; that’s not for you to do. “I’ll do the judging,” says God. “I’ll take care of it.”

Romans 12:17-19 (MSG)

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32 responses to “Illusions of Fairness”

  1. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Yes indeed. Father always knows best. But I agree, it’s not easy. God Bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Island Traveler Avatar

    Perfect reading for me. Thank you. It is hard sometimes to follow God’s teachings but it’s what best for us. Thanks 🙏

    Liked by 1 person

  3. davidsdailydose Avatar

    I appreciate your thoughts, brother. The Holy Spirit has literally said to me, “David, you’re sulking…” I ask God to help me write His wisdom, and many times it is I who needs it the most. Blessings!


  4. Alan Kearns Avatar

    Good post brother. I think we all have a pity button, and Satan know exactly where it is and how to push it! I pray that His Word will hold me back from self pity, and if I do stray I will hear the voice of the Spirit saying “Really Alan?!”
    Thank you David for this valuable word today, may our Father God bless you today.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you for your comment, Deborah. I agree. A self-pity party is never a good idea. Trusting in God’s loving control is much wiser. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Deborah Agustin Avatar

    It happens. Feeling that self-pity washing over me because of something I felt was unfair. But remembering God’s perfect wisdom and sovereignty stops me from indulging in self-pity. He arranges things for us. He is in control.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thanks for the reblog, Scribe Lady!


  8. scribelady Avatar

    Reblogged this on Country Ripples.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Well said, Matcha! You said what I wanted to say–and in fewer words. Thank you for reading and commenting. Blessings!


  10. Matcha Avatar

    I have seen this “it’s not fair” in many adults. However, if life was “fair” and everyone had the same blessings, where would be the beauty in it? Also, isn’t life fair because God gives us life to begin with?

    Growing up happens the moment we realize life isn’t fair. However, while it may not be fair, it is beautiful. Hopefully, more people can see that sooner than later. Then those jealousy and wants can finally be quelled.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. davidsdailydose Avatar

    I didn’t think about that story, Matt. But it surely fits. God Bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. jesusluvsall Avatar

    Peter had a its not fair response when Jesus let him know how he would die. Peter pointed to John and said what about him.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. davidsdailydose Avatar

    It’s a deal! Pity parties are the worst. 😑

    Liked by 1 person

  14. My Life in Our Father's World Avatar

    Let’s hope we both remember next time.

    Liked by 1 person

  15. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Me too, Barb. It hard sometimes to leave all the judgment to God. “What do you want me to learn from this, Lord?” Is a much better response.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Yes indeed, Gary. I don’t think anyone thinks Jesus was treated fairly. Thank you for your comment.

    Liked by 2 people

  17. Gary Fultz Avatar

    I guess I always knew life was not fair. Even as a small child I knew but always tried my best to game the system and make it better than fair for me. The process of servanthood is quite a narrow path in following Jesus. I cannot count the number of times the Lord has said to me, “it was less fair to me”.

    Liked by 2 people

  18. My Life in Our Father's World Avatar

    I will admit that all too often I revert to “that’s not fair” instead of God what do you want me to learn from this?

    Liked by 2 people

  19. davidsdailydose Avatar

    My dad was big on that one too. “Son, the world doesn’t owe you a living,” he’d say. The new concept to me was not to tie my personal happiness to sense of fairness. Mitch was spot on about that one. Thanks for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Blue Collar Theologian Avatar

    My mom taught me from a VERY and I mean VERY early age that life’s not fair. I am so glad she did! Thank you David for this much needed post!

    Liked by 2 people

  21. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you for sharing your thoughts, Betty. Your talkative mind is fine by me! My own grandfather was a simple farmer who was content to take what came his way. His trust that God could care for him, and also sort things out, was absolute. Thanks for stopping by today, Betty. Blessings to you and Dan!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Betty Avatar

    When I hear, “That’s not fair”, my mind immediately heard “Life isn’t fair.” That what adults seemed to always say when I was growing up. When reading your post, I heard my grandpa’s voice in my head saying, “Man will always want.” And while reading, I also heard “Vengeance is mine says the Lord.” My mind is very talkative this morning. However, it is hard to accept when something doesn’t go our way, and it is even worse when it seems unfair. Round and round my thoughts go. But eventually, during these a time like this, I hear another voice saying “there’s something better in store for you.”

    Liked by 3 people

  23. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Agreed, Manu. Our job is to let God sort things out. Fairness is such an illusion—everyone has their own definition. But God’s dictionary is the only one that counts. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  24. Manu Avatar

    We all wants things to be fair for us but God sees the big picture and works things out according to His wisdom. So even if we feel that there is no resolution to that unfair moment, we have to trust God because He sees it all. Hopefully that reminds us to be just in how we act and also considering that the Lord forgives so much in us may we let go and forgive too.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. davidsdailydose Avatar

    You’re absolutely right, Bridget! God has forgiven each of us a great debt. The least we can do is forgive others. The Lord will decide (in the end) what is ultimately “fair.” I appreciate your comment! Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  26. Bridget A. Thomas Avatar

    Yes it can be difficult living in an unfair and injustice world. We have to remind ourselves that God is the judge and will right all of our wrongs. And when we remember that we are on the receiving end of redemption, which we do not deserve, it really helps alter our perspective. Thank you for sharing!

    Liked by 1 person

  27. davidsdailydose Avatar

    So true. I also tend to forget that God is ultimately fair—even if life is not. Thank you for your input! Blessings.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thanks, Pete! I look forward to reading your post. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  29. pastorpete51 Avatar

    It’s a great temptation to yield to glumness, self pity and as you say the “It’s not fair!” outlook. Thanks for posting this as it has encouraged me to repost an old verse about self pity. Blessings Dave

    Liked by 1 person

  30. Don't Lose Hope Avatar

    We tend to think of fairness in a very short term way. If we look at the Bible God often gave people what they deserved (good or bad) over years, if not decades. It can help if I remember that I am living my life before God and a lot of the things i want and consider fair see less insignificant in the context of God’s plan and provision, or even eternity. But that’s not an easy place to get to …. It’s something I am always working on.

    Liked by 2 people

  31. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Yes, I’ve heard that life on the streets is a “tit for tat” existence. Thank God there is always enough in His kingdom—even if it doesn’t seem like it here on earth. 🙏May His continued blessings be on your ministry to the homeless! I always appreciate your thoughts, Rainer.

    Liked by 1 person

  32. The Devotional Guy™ Avatar

    Good post, David. I witness childlike, “tit-for-tat” behavior daily. Seeing someone get something, others start to bellow “where’s mine?” Before they saw someone get something, say a water bottle or a tote bag, they weren’t thinking they needed one. But, once they see someone else get something, then they decide they want one, too. Yes, we CAN choose our response, thankfully, and NO, we never stop wanting things…Good thoughts, brother.

    Liked by 1 person

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