The Old Man from Number Twenty-Eight | Short Story

Photo by Volodymyr Proskurovskyi on Unsplash

A persistent knock came mid- morning, raspy on my metal front door. โ€œI donโ€™t want any!โ€ I yelled from my rumpled bed.

โ€œPolice. Open Up.โ€

I look out the window. Itโ€™s the Boys in Blue, alright. I hope I didnโ€™t do something stupid last night because I have one hellacious hangover!

โ€œSir, is this your car?โ€ the taller one asks, pointing into the fog. They take me on a walk around. Itโ€™s my ride alright, parked crooked on the street with one wheel up on the curb, but I donโ€™t remember putting it there. I also canโ€™t explain the deep dent on the hood or the spider web cracks covering the passenger side of the windshield.

โ€œThere was an incident,โ€ says the same officer, โ€œearlier this morning, just two blocks from here. We need you to come down to the station to answer some questions.โ€

The cold steel cuffs click tight around my wrists. I still donโ€™t know what this is all about, but the shorter cop doesnโ€™t look so happy, as he crams me into the back seat of his cruiser. At the station, I blow a 0.15 on a Breathalyzer test, almost twice the legal limit.

Itโ€™s coming back to me now, playing darts and throwing down beers with the regulars at Ollieโ€™s Tavern. After closing at 2 AM, Gus, the bartender, offered to call me an UBER. But I begged off. I must have dozed for a while in my car before heading home.

Driving up the last hill before my apartment, I reached into the glove box for an aspirin. Now that I think about it, I do remember a thump. I thought it was a cardboard box blowing across the road. I swear I never saw the young man running, just before dawn, in the hi-vis vest.

Itโ€™s been six months now, and Iโ€™m still sitting in jail. My bail is set at $10,000, and I owe at least that much in court costs and fines. Even if I beat the charges, I can never go back to Number Twenty-Eight. The lad I ran down lived in Number Twenty-Seven.


Postscript:

Iโ€™m now three years into a twelve-year sentence for vehicular manslaughter. With time off for good behavior, I could get out in three more. Iโ€™ll be 82 then.

Iโ€™ve been sober ever since that awful early morning. Itโ€™s no consolation to the young manโ€™s mother, though. She told me herself: โ€œMake my sonโ€™s death matter; tell others not to drive under the influence–like you did.โ€

So, I do. They take me out, cuffs and all, to speak to packed high school auditoriums. I tell how I drank like a fish from the age of eleven and drank and drove for decades afterward. I warn them how one stupid choice can take an innocent personโ€™s life and ruin your own. Then I close with a verse from the Bible, given to me by our prison chaplain:

Through love and faithfulness sin is atoned for; through the fear of the Lord a man avoids evil.

Proverbs 16:6 (NIV)

This story was inspired by Matthew Richardsonโ€™s The Young Man from Number Twenty-Seven. Matthew is a writer of short stories. He blogs at matthewrichardson.com

Kind reader, this is an unusual post from me. I hope you don’t mind. I’ll be back tomorrow with my usual fare. Thank you for reading. ๐Ÿ™โค๏ธ prayers and love.


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Comments

34 responses to “The Old Man from Number Twenty-Eight | Short Story”

  1. davidsdailydose Avatar

    God indeed preserved us. And whatโ€™s more, my father was a good manโ€”just one who didnโ€™t choose well about drinking and driving. Real people are a complicated mess, but Jesus saves from it all! But you already said that. So, Iโ€™m saying, AMEN!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Pure Glory Avatar

    Although, it may have been scary to have a drunk driver, with the family riding in the car, God preserved you. God loves to redeem the bad.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Iโ€™m glad the redemptive aim to the story came through. This is close to home for me, in another way: when I was a child, my father frequently drank and droveโ€”with our whole family in the car.

    I am grateful for your feedback. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Pure Glory Avatar

    David, this is a very moving story that hits close to home. Many years ago, when a young child, a drunk driver hit our car and my mother was killed. Your story really captures the emotions of the older drunk driver. Love the redemption, in the story of his telling his story to others, and having changed his life. God and his love is a thread throughout the story. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, Beth. It was a stretch indeed, and outside my normal niche. Iโ€™m more comfortable writing short, positive devotionals and stories about Buck.
    I almost didnโ€™t post this one, but felt compelled to put it out there. Iโ€™m glad you see the value in it. God Bless!

    Like

  6. Beth Alisan Avatar

    Way to stretch yourself in your writing David! Well done! An emotional read with an important lesson.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, Manette Kay. Itโ€™s always a risk to write outside oneโ€™s niche, but it was a story I needed to tell. Tomorrow, I have something more davidsdailydose-like. ๐Ÿ˜Š
    I, too, pray that God will use this particular post to warn others of the all too common costs of driving under the influence.
    As you say, may Jehovah bless you!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. musingsofmanettekay Avatar

    Wow, this is a good piece of writing, David. I would read other fictional pieces such as this. May God use it for His glory.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, Manu. God Bless, and happy Sunday in the Land Down Under.๐Ÿ‡ฆ๐Ÿ‡บ๐Ÿฆ˜๐ŸŒ

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Manu Avatar

    Beautifully written. Such an important message. Thank you for sharing this cautionary tale.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, Betty. Iโ€™d forgotten about your son losing his best friend to a drunk driver.
    I was determined to write this story, because of how alcohol abuse has impacted my own family.
    Iโ€™m glad you saw the point behind this cautionary tale.
    Thank you for taking the time to read it, and also for leaving such an encouraging comment.
    I hope you and Dan enjoy the rest of our weekend.

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Betty Avatar

    David, as you may remember, my son lost his best friend to a drunk driver. It’s been over a year and a half, and it still hurts bad. In the case of my son’s friend, the drunk driver was a young woman who was also killed. Your post creates the possibility that perhaps someone will read this and not take that drink that puts them over the edge – or someone else will read this and perhaps will stop someone from driving who did drink too much. I will read it every single time.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. God Still Speaks Avatar

    Hey I just speak the truth brother!

    Liked by 1 person

  14. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, sister! I appreciate your kind words.

    Like

  15. Alan Kearns Avatar

    You are most welcome brother ๐Ÿ˜‰
    We are not far from Dundee. In fact we lived in Dundee for a while and I went to uni there too.

    Liked by 1 person

  16. FlowIntoWords Avatar

    Yes, that is true. Making something good from the ruins. A Christian message indeed. โค๏ธ

    Liked by 1 person

  17. God Still Speaks Avatar

    I’m glad you went off your normal path with this post. If it helps even just one person stop and think before doing something stupid, then it was worth it! (And honestly, I’m of a mind that everything you post is well worth it!)

    Liked by 1 person

  18. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Iโ€™m glad you caught the uplift, Priscilla. Men and women like the guy in the story actually came to my high school once, and with similar tales. We tried to be cool about it, but it made an impact. I appreciate your stopping by. God Bless!

    Liked by 1 person

  19. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Yet, thereโ€™s at least a twinkling of redemption for the old man. Perhaps he can persuade young people to drink responsibly, or not at all. Thank you for reading and commenting. Blessings!

    Liked by 1 person

  20. Priscilla Bettis Avatar

    What a sad story, but it has an uplifting message.

    Liked by 1 person

  21. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you for taking the time to read it, brother. My Nancy cautioned, โ€œThis doesnโ€™t fit your niche.โ€ I decided to publishโ€”hoping my readers overlook the inconsistency. Matthew Richardson (writer of the first story) is a graduate student in Scotland ๐Ÿด๓ ง๓ ข๓ ณ๓ ฃ๓ ด๓ ฟ, at the University of Dundee, as I recall. ๐Ÿ™Godโ€™s best to you always, brother!

    Liked by 1 person

  22. Alan Kearns Avatar

    This came as a surprise as I opened your post, but a well written surprise David!๐Ÿ˜
    God bless you today brother ๐Ÿ™

    Liked by 1 person

  23. FlowIntoWords Avatar

    Powerful story, David. It captures well how one decision can ruin your life and anotherโ€™s.

    Liked by 1 person

  24. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, Bridget.

    Liked by 1 person

  25. Bridget A. Thomas Avatar

    A powerful story, David!

    Liked by 1 person

  26. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Itโ€™s a piece of realistic fiction, but true to life, no doubt. Heartbreaking, yes, and a bittersweet opportunity for redemptionโ€”for the old man. My immediate family has struggled with alcohol abuse and addiction. So, this was personal for me. The drunk driver, in Matthewโ€™s original story, couldnโ€™t get off scot-free.
    Thank you for reading and commenting. ๐Ÿ™โค๏ธ The Lord Bless you and keep you.

    Liked by 2 people

  27. Don't Lose Hope Avatar

    How tragic for everyone involved. Heartbreaking. I hope the students in high school are deeply influenced by what they hear from this young man.

    Liked by 1 person

  28. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Now, I’m off to learn more about James Joyce. ๐Ÿ˜€

    Liked by 1 person

  29. matthewjrichardson Avatar

    Thought it was a wonderful counterpoint, David.

    Liked by 1 person

  30. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, Matthew. I don’t quite have your command of words, but imagined this other side of the story. No doubt you recognize the feeling: I simply had to write it.

    Liked by 1 person

  31. matthewjrichardson Avatar

    Loved this David and so glad my short story proved useful! ‘Hellacious hangover’ is Joycean, and a great narrative curve running through the whole piece.

    Liked by 2 people

  32. davidsdailydose Avatar

    Thank you, BG. It’s not my normal “positive thoughts from a Christian perspective,” but a story I needed to write, nonetheless. Thank you for reading and sharing an encouraging thought. God Bless you, brother!

    Like

  33. BG Avatar

    Wow Dave! So heart rendering bro!

    Liked by 1 person

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